Making changes that last

Making changes that last….. I’m posting this again, as its January ! and as we know thats the time of the year that most people seek to make changes.

As they say … ‘change is good’ … not sure who ‘they’ are.. But let’s take it as a given… Change is good. Given that change is good, and people often have every intention of making changes and sticking with them, why is it so difficult? Why do people give up smoking to start again, loss weight to then gain even more, sign up to the gym and then stop going, agree with another to do things differently only to fall back in to old ways of being? One of the main reasons is, people don’t understand and accept the nature of change. In this brief article I hope to convey one or two thoughts on change, that I hope will be of use to anyone wanting to make lasting change and stick to it! These thoughts stem mostly from my work as a therapist working with hundreds of addicts and therefore witnessing people making and maintaining lifesaving changes.

New Year’s resolutions are often just that … They last for the duration of the New Year, even when the intention was for them to last forever. The reason is often because change is sometimes more challenging to maintain than making the initial change in the first place.

People often think of change as a one off event, for example, they might make the decision to get more exercise and then fail to do so for the time period they intended (attend any gym in January, then return in April to see this for yourself). What happens is that the change process is not understood or given enough attention; change is an ongoing decision, not a one off event. It’s a Process, not an Event … and that’s it really. Once you have done the initial stage of making the change , the next essential and ongoing step is the Maintenance Stage.

Making Changes that Last is often more about how people attend to maintaining the change they want, rather than the initial effort put into change. Below are a few tools and techniques that can be useful in maintaining change (the maintenance stage) .

• The change process often loses momentum or stops when you lose motivation. This is why it’s important to regularly recall and focus on why you wanted to make the change, get in touch at a deep level with the consequences of not making the change and consequences of making the change. Write if down! Look at it often, or cut out a picture that sums up the benefits for you .. or if you prefer, the consequence of not making the change. This is important. It repeatedly gets you to that place of motivation, where the initial energy can be found that started the change, it’s like making the change again and again, and that keeps it fresh! Many people I work with in addiction make a commitment to staying in recovery daily. That’s a great way to make it a priority and maintain momentum.

• Don’t do it alone. If you keep trying and not succeeding maybe it’s time to enlist some help. For example, if you are trying to stop drinking and are failing to stay stopped then maybe an organisation like Alcoholics Anonymous might be the way forward, often people seek help from a counsellor to make and maintain changes. Personal trainers or a friend to go walking with might be the key to keeping you in the maintenance stages of change.

• If you slip backwards with change, learn from it, work out what went wrong, and what lessons are there to be learnt. Questions that might help include: what were the signs that my change was losing its momentum? What do I need to do differently next time? What help might I need to get back on track? And very importantly ask yourself “do I really want this change?” It might be worth writing these answers down and sharing your findings with someone who might be able to offer different perspectives.

Good luck with making and most importantly maintaining change. Making Changes That Last can be fun !

SKYPE counselling uk

SKYPE Counselling UK and therapy

SKYPE Counselling UK.

At Counselling Services Nottingham we are finding SKYPE Counselling  is an option that more and more clients are making use of, either as the only source of our work together or in combination with face 2 face sessions. It offers convenience and a more economical option than face 2 face work.

See our SKYPE Page for details and an interview with therapist Andrew Harvey on the BBC.

SKYPE Counselling  UK available Monday to Friday from 8am to 9pm , subject to availability. Urgent appointments can sometimes be arranged. Please call for more details 07802 767 462

SKYPE therapy

SKYPE counselling


A guide to therapy using Skype™

SKYPE therapy and Counselling

SKYPE therapy is another way I work with clients via SKYPE offering hour long sessions. SKYPE counselling has both opportunities and challenges as outlined below and in my interview with the BBC available to listen to below.

Here is an interview that I did with a colleague on the BBC talking about SKPE therapy and counselling.

A guide to therapy using Skype™

Skype therapy is becoming increasingly popular, it even has its own name now “Skypotherapy”!

SKYPE Therapy

By Andrew Harvey,  MBACP, Cert Men Hlth Stud (Open).

skype therapy

March 2014

What is it?

Psychotherapy, counselling and therapy are terms that are often used interchangeably. For this guide I will use the terms in the same way. The BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) definition of counselling is:

“Counselling and psychotherapy are umbrella terms that cover a range of talking therapies. They are delivered by trained practitioners who work with people over a short or long term to help them bring about effective change or enhance their wellbeing”. BACP

If you don’t already have Skype™ then here is a link to all you need to know to get started using it

Traditionally clients have met with a counsellor face to face together in a counselling room. Skype™ counselling moves from counsellor and client being together in a room to being connected via Skype™, counsellor located in their place of work and client wherever works for them, usually at home.

Why people might chose Skype™ counselling over face to face counselling.

  • It’s often cheaper; many counsellors offer rates £10 or £5 below their face to face rate.
  • It saves clients time, no travel to and from the counselling location.
  • If  you are away from home from time to time, you don’t have to miss your  session, just plug in, log on and connect.
  • Some people feel more comfortable working with a therapists who is not local to them, no chance of bumping into them at the post office!
  • Sometimes therapists who work with Skype™ can offer greater flexibility in terms of session times, ideal for people with busy lives and shift workers.
  • Many counsellors who use Skype™ offer a free brief consultation; this gives clients the chance to connect with 2 or 3 therapists easily to see who they can work with best.
  • For some leaving home might be difficult, emotional or physical challenges  might make it difficult to leave home. If leaving home is difficult part of the Skype™ therapy work might be working towards being able to meet  face to face.
  • Some clients may find it is easier to be open and more comfortable talking over Skype™ as opposed to face to face. Some research has shown that counselling via Skype™ can help people feel less inhibited and more forthright during their sessions.
  • Greater choice, when you remove the limitation of travel many more possibilities  become available to clients.

Challenges / Potential issues AND CAUTION!

  • Isolation  can become an issue for some when dealing with emotional difficulties. Here Skype™ therapy can offer a real opportunity for someone that is finding it difficult to go out. However it is important to maybe discuss  with your therapist about your use of Skype™ therapy over face to face counselling.
  • Confidentiality: ensure you are in a confidential setting for your sessions; you want to feel free to talk and be open.
  • Technology can, and occasionally will, fail us. Most counsellors will agree with you what to do if you can’t make contact via Skype™ or if the connection fails.
  • Skype™  is not appropriate for clients who are experiencing profound mental health issues and/or clients who are suicidal. If you or someone you know is in crisis a GP or local hospital will be able to help. Help can be found on my links page here Links .
  • If  at any time you feel uncomfortable working with your counsellor or Skype™ therapy I would encourage you to talk to them; remember you are in charge. You may find that Skype™ therapy is not for you, if that’s the case, and you are able I would encourage you to try face to face work as you may  find this more appropriate for you and any challenges you may still be  struggling with.

How can I “do” Skype™ counselling?

  • You will need a Skype™ connection, you can download the Skype™ application for  free, and this will guide you how to set up and even shows you how to make a test call. You will need a good connection, sound and picture for  Skype™ to work at its best.
  • First find a therapist who provides Skype™ therapy who you might like to make contact with; initial contact might be via the phone and / or email. They will guide you from there. A good place to find an insured and qualified  therapist is via this web site The author would recommend only working with a member of a reputable counselling organisation for example the BACP has a members register you can check here
  • Most sessions last 50 minutes or an hour, people often work with therapists once a week. You should have a contract, this might include issues relating to confidentiality, payment, how long, how often and when you will make contact with each other.

Author: Andrew Harvey

Skype skypetalkandrew

Declaration of interest: The author of this article is a BACP registered therapist and listed on the It’s Good To Talk Website, he provides SKYPE and face to face counselling.


What sort of things do people come to counselling therapy for ?

Counselling therapyWhat sort of things do people come to counselling and therapy for ?

Here is a list of the top searched terms from the counselling directory.

When looking for counselling therapy, this is what others have searched for.

relationship issues



bipolar disorder/manic depression

family issues

couples counselling

affairs and betrayals

seasonal affective disorder (sad)


postnatal depression

separation and divorce

panic disorder

generalised anxiety disorder


cross cultural relationships

pre-nuptial counselling

anger management


low self-esteem



personality disorders

low self-confidence

eating disorders

sexual abuse

emotional abuse


child related issues

attachment disorder


drug abuse

binge-eating disorder

sex problems

generalised anxiety

sex addiction

anorexia nervosa

obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

bulimia nervosa

borderline personality disorder

asperger’s syndrome

internet addiction


body dysmorphic disorder


suicidal thoughts

physical abuse

compulsive hoarding

work related stress

career counselling

narcissistic personality disorder

self harm

post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd)


avoidant personality disorder

obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

paranoid personality disorder


dependent personality disorder

adoption issues


antisocial personality disorder

passive aggressive behaviour

schizoid personality disorder

gender dysphoria


domestic violence

histrionic personality disorder


schizotypal personality disorder


chronic fatigue syndrome/me




carer support


chronic pain


pregnancy and birth

debt counselling



learning difficulties



hearing voices



tourette’s syndrome

terminal illness

leaving care

living organ donation

sexual issues

mental health

We have added ourselves to the Counselling Directory

Find us on Counselling Pages | Counselling Services Nottingham

Counselling directory.

The Counselling Directory Nottingham.

For more Counselling Directory Nottingham listings and Counselling Services in Nottingham information check out our link s page  , we list lots of useful information pertaining to therapy, counselling, SKYPE therapy and Counselling and other sources of support for emotional and mental health difficulties.

We are listed on a number of leading counselling directories and  websites. We never list of publish any client information. The service we supply is completely confidential for all of our clients.

We also have a Facebook page here Facebook this tends to be for information about counselling and therapy generally. Please do pop on to the Facebook Page, give us a like and you will then receive notifications of updates we post.

Our sister company is also listed on a number of therapy and counselling websites. On that site you will find lots of useful information pertaining  to help, therapy and counselling for addictions , substance misuse and other compulsive type issues. The links page on this site has links to a number of helpful resources from the addictions counselling , therapy and self help fields.

Counselling Services Nottingham and AddictionsCounselling.Net can be found on many of t of the leading Counselling Directories and Therapy Listing websites both in the UK and International. If you know of a site that we are not listed on that would help people find us, please do send us and email.

The Counselling Directory Nottingham refers to our links page here 

Therapy information

The Supporting Safe Therapy site  (Link below) is a site that I am so pleased to have been made aware of. It’s a wonderful resource for how to get the best and most from therapy. Therapy and Counselling, like lots of  things, can be a positive experience or less so, and for that reason it’s important that your therapist is working professionally, ethically and above all safely. This site can help you look at all of these aspects of any service you are using or considering using.

In the site’s own words ... is a website for both clients and therapists aimed at improving the experience of psychological therapy.

It contains evidence-based information and practical tools to help you have a positive, safe, and effective experience of therapy while avoiding common problems.

Additional therapy information and information on counselling and  psychotherapy can be found on this site and on sites that can be accessed from the links page. 

If you can’t find the therapy information you are looking for on this site or any of the resources I have offered please do email  as I  may be able to help I can be contacted on email  

If you are interested in therapy or counselling it might be worth  checking out the Supporting Safe Therapy Site, I  feel its one of the best therapy information sites I have ever seen.